...well, not really - I just wanted to get your attention :)
On one of my trips to Duke, my doctor told me that PBS was filming him and his patients for one of their documentaries, and he asked if I would participate. Sure, I haven't showered today, nor do I have any makeup on, but why not?
There were two guys doing this documentary, Michael Bernhagen and Terry Kaldhusdal, with an intern. It's part two of a series called Consider the Conversation. Part One - A Documentary on a Taboo Subject was about preparation for end-of-life care. Both Michael and Terry had experiences with family members where no one talked to them about hospice care or other alternatives. This sparked them to examine this topic further. I encourage you to read more about it at http://www.considertheconversation.org. It's been aired 428 times across 165 PBS stations in 31 states. It has inspired systematic change in the Wisconsin health care system and won 11 major awards.
Chapter 2 is called A Documentary about Unintended Consequences. An excerpt from the website says it "explores the impact of American medicine's success on the patient/doctor relationship and illuminates the important role communication plays in helping parties navigate the murky waters of severe chronic disease". They interviewed me about how I came to decide to get treatment at Duke, in particular with my kick-ass doctor, Dr Zafar (and his amazing Nurse Practitioner Leigh Howard). They asked me some hard questions, like how do I imagine a conversation with my doctor if he had bad news about my prognosis. I've never thought of that because I don't see that as a likely scenario, so why play the "What If" game with myself? Next question, please...
We also discussed whether or not it's a failure for a doctor to not be able to cure a patient with a chronic disease like cancer. That was a powerful question, because it leads to so many other topics, and that's when I really understood what this documentary was about. What is the relationship between a doctor and patient? How does a doctor communicate with a patient that has a potentially uncureable disease? How do you treat someone like that, both from a communication and medical perspective? How do you prepare them for "the end"? And how do costs of care impact these choices and decisions?
They also asked how I would like to leave this world, whenever that ends up happening. I said that I want to be surrounded by my friends and family, maybe at the beach. Afterwards, as I read more about what the documentary is about, I realized what that last question was really asking. With the advancements in medicine, would I want to be in a hospital, hooked up to cutting edge technology, with access to doctors and treatment that could extend my life? That never even dawned on me...nope, I want to be somewhere peaceful and not at a hospital.
As I write this now I realize that I'm still not very comfortable thinking about end-of-life topics because I'm not ready to leave this world yet. I was recently reminded once again about how rare I am. I asked my nurse if I should get another colonoscopy, because it's been a year since my last one which discovered my tumor. She said she doesn't typically have that conversation with patients that have metastatic cancer, because they usually aren't cured. But yes, I should have one after I finish chemo (only one to go!) This is a reminded of how lucky I've been, and I just keep wondering if my luck is going to run out.
I need to get back to living a healthy lifestyle. I've gained over 25 pounds since this began a year ago. I know I can lose the weight, because I did it earlier that same year. I just need to be able to get back into a routine of going to the gym, swimming, cooking, etc. And I can't seem to do that when I'm going to Duke every two weeks. So I'll be patient for just a little longer...
I'll keep everyone updated about my CT scan at the end of September (not scheduled yet), so that will likely be the next blog. Life is good :)
TTYL
Sarah xoxo
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Wow, I'm a slacker
It's been so long since my last update - I'm such a slacker! Here's what's been going on...
Session #2 was rough. I was nauseated the whole ride home from Duke. The anti-nausea meds gave me a headache for the whole two weeks. The tingling in my hands and feet (neuropathy) lasted the whole two weeks, and so did the cold aversion. The cold aversion sucked the most, because I felt like I had to avoid food. I couldn't eat fresh fruits or veggies, which was what my body was craving to counteract all the toxins of the chemo. I avoided hydrating because I needed to warm up my water, and it tastes different when it's warm. It was the first time that I was absolutely miserable :(
So on my next visit to Duke, as I was telling my Nurse Practitioner about my side effects, she lovingly berated me for not contacting her earlier about what I'd gone through. Note to self, if I'm unhappy, I should tell my doctor immediately, and not wait for my next visit. We decided to stop treatment with the Oxaliplatin and just continue with the 5FU with the hopes that my side effects will decrease tremendously. And...they did! #3 wasn't bad. I had some nausea on Friday night (I get hooked up to chemo on Thursday) and on Saturday, which made me take a Zofran, and I got a headache, but by Sunday I was feeling great!
But then on Sunday, I noticed my feet starting to burn like they did last December. I started getting nervous because I was going to NYC the next weekend to visit my friend Kristin. Kristin has a gig with Deloitte Consulting in NYC and they put her up in corporate housing in Battery Park. Life is rough, huh? And how could I get around the city if I couldn't walk??? So I laid off my feet as much as possible, and the trip was still good, but less active. Just when I start to feel good, something else hits me that gets in the way of returning to normal. But it's just short term - gotta keep reminding myself of that.
The feet thing started to go away eventually - probably just detox from the Oxaliplatin And since the side effects got better, we decided to discontinue the Oxaliplatin completely, forever! That made me so happy as I didn't have to worry each time I was going to Duke about whether we would restart that.
So sitting here hooked up to chemo #7 - one more to go!!! Each treatment has gotten better in terms of side effects. I don't even take the nausea meds anymore. I have really, really mild nausea, but it's better than the headache from the Zofran, and the fatigue isn't bad at all. And the nurse comes in three hours to disconnect me from my pump. By tomorrow, I should feel normal again!
I've got one more treatment on 9/5, then I'm going to Santa Fe on 9/14-9/21 for a long overdue vacation. I have taken time off work throughout all of this, but the last time I didn't work for a week was my surgery in March, and that's not a vacation. The last real time off of work was Christmas (Paris was only three days off of work). Like I said, LONG overdue. I'm going with some family and we're going to check out this awesome spa in Ojo Caliente. It's got hot springs and mud baths, and I've never had a mud bath before! I'm hoping it will help detox my body from the chemo :)
Then I'll have another CT scan to ensure that cancer hasn't found a new home, which it hasn't, I'm sure :) I'll have scans every 3-6 months for the first two years, and then annually. I'm hoping to get my chest port removed after the first scan, but my doctors encourage me to wait until after my second scan. I want to get this thing out so badly, I'm not sure I can wait another three months. I just want to get back to my normal life. I want to go to the gym again, and get my ass handed to me by my trainer, and sweat, and be sore a little, and get back on a treadmill. I want to try to do a 5K next spring at Duke for colon cancer. Oh, and I NEED to start some yoga! I miss stretching, and I don't like doing it with this chest port. But I still have time to decide all of that...about a month actually. Oh and by the way, I'm 5 months cancer free :)
love to all!
Sarah
Session #2 was rough. I was nauseated the whole ride home from Duke. The anti-nausea meds gave me a headache for the whole two weeks. The tingling in my hands and feet (neuropathy) lasted the whole two weeks, and so did the cold aversion. The cold aversion sucked the most, because I felt like I had to avoid food. I couldn't eat fresh fruits or veggies, which was what my body was craving to counteract all the toxins of the chemo. I avoided hydrating because I needed to warm up my water, and it tastes different when it's warm. It was the first time that I was absolutely miserable :(
So on my next visit to Duke, as I was telling my Nurse Practitioner about my side effects, she lovingly berated me for not contacting her earlier about what I'd gone through. Note to self, if I'm unhappy, I should tell my doctor immediately, and not wait for my next visit. We decided to stop treatment with the Oxaliplatin and just continue with the 5FU with the hopes that my side effects will decrease tremendously. And...they did! #3 wasn't bad. I had some nausea on Friday night (I get hooked up to chemo on Thursday) and on Saturday, which made me take a Zofran, and I got a headache, but by Sunday I was feeling great!
But then on Sunday, I noticed my feet starting to burn like they did last December. I started getting nervous because I was going to NYC the next weekend to visit my friend Kristin. Kristin has a gig with Deloitte Consulting in NYC and they put her up in corporate housing in Battery Park. Life is rough, huh? And how could I get around the city if I couldn't walk??? So I laid off my feet as much as possible, and the trip was still good, but less active. Just when I start to feel good, something else hits me that gets in the way of returning to normal. But it's just short term - gotta keep reminding myself of that.
The feet thing started to go away eventually - probably just detox from the Oxaliplatin And since the side effects got better, we decided to discontinue the Oxaliplatin completely, forever! That made me so happy as I didn't have to worry each time I was going to Duke about whether we would restart that.
So sitting here hooked up to chemo #7 - one more to go!!! Each treatment has gotten better in terms of side effects. I don't even take the nausea meds anymore. I have really, really mild nausea, but it's better than the headache from the Zofran, and the fatigue isn't bad at all. And the nurse comes in three hours to disconnect me from my pump. By tomorrow, I should feel normal again!
I've got one more treatment on 9/5, then I'm going to Santa Fe on 9/14-9/21 for a long overdue vacation. I have taken time off work throughout all of this, but the last time I didn't work for a week was my surgery in March, and that's not a vacation. The last real time off of work was Christmas (Paris was only three days off of work). Like I said, LONG overdue. I'm going with some family and we're going to check out this awesome spa in Ojo Caliente. It's got hot springs and mud baths, and I've never had a mud bath before! I'm hoping it will help detox my body from the chemo :)
Then I'll have another CT scan to ensure that cancer hasn't found a new home, which it hasn't, I'm sure :) I'll have scans every 3-6 months for the first two years, and then annually. I'm hoping to get my chest port removed after the first scan, but my doctors encourage me to wait until after my second scan. I want to get this thing out so badly, I'm not sure I can wait another three months. I just want to get back to my normal life. I want to go to the gym again, and get my ass handed to me by my trainer, and sweat, and be sore a little, and get back on a treadmill. I want to try to do a 5K next spring at Duke for colon cancer. Oh, and I NEED to start some yoga! I miss stretching, and I don't like doing it with this chest port. But I still have time to decide all of that...about a month actually. Oh and by the way, I'm 5 months cancer free :)
love to all!
Sarah
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Life Goes On...
As many of you know, I love to travel. This cancer shit really put a dent in some big 2012 travel plans. I was supposed to go to Montana for Labor Day with my parents to visit my brother, his wife, and my adorable nephews. We were going to rent a cabin, visit hot springs, and have a nice family vacation. (P.S. The fires in the mountains would've canceled our plans)
I was supposed to go to Montreal with my friend, Kristin. She was gonna run a half marathon (show-off) and I was gonna sleep in. We were even toying around with the idea of going to Vermont for a night at a fancy B&B while pretending to be a lesbian couple enjoying the fall colors of New England. Don't ask why I thought it would fun to pretend to be lesbians...something about autumn and Vermont and B&Bs. I was funnier in my head...
Kristin and I were also supposed to go to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving. The year before we went to NYC and decided to do an annual Thanksgiving trip somewhere. My friend, Ashley, and I were supposed to go to Vegas for her birthday and celebrate her entrance to her Doctorate program (aka last vacation for a while).
But I did manage to get in two trips to San Francisco last year! They were for work, but I got to see a good friend both times, and I loooooooooooooooove the food in that city. It's a life goal to live there at some point in my life. Just waiting for the right time...
So, life sometimes changes your plans - got it, cool, I can handle that. I'm a great planner. I love planning trips, parties, get togethers, happy hours, even hospital visits :) So I planned the shit out of my breaks between chemo and surgery and more chemo.
After recovering from chemo, but before my last surgery, me and three of my girlfriends (who had never met each other), went to Vegas. Yes, Vegas baby. I had been twice before, but for work only. I'd had vendors wine and dine me, but it's just not the same as partying with friends. And we did it up. Got a suite at the Palazzo, which is attached to the Venetian, and upgraded to a club level. Club level includes a private check in (don't have to wait in those awful Vegas check-in lines) with a Champagne welcome (and we brought additional champagne for the room). The club is open for breakfast until 9 am (or 10?), as much bottled water as you can carry, afternoon hors d'ourvres from 5-8pm and open bar from 5-7pm (including champagne), and I think dessert until 10pm, but who's around the hotel at 10pm in Vegas? Plus we have a troupe of concierges available to assist with anything - they'll unpack/pack your bags if you want (and damn it, i didn't have the balls to ask them to unpack me!)
We ate a tons of really good meals - one of which is a top 5 ever meal! I splurged one night when we went to Circo, a new "cirque" restaurant at the Bellagio, overlooking the fountains (of course!). I got the chef's tasting menu, plus the premier wine pairing (which comes with your very own sommelier, the snooty wine guy). It was a three and a half hour meal - just freaking amazing. Afterwards we went to the 10pm Cirque de Soleil show of O. I was so happy in my belly that I fell asleep a half dozen times. Now I've got to see it again.
Oh, and check this out - my friend Morgen, who flew in from Austin, TX, had asked her friend from Vegas for some suggestions of things to do. Told this friend about my "situation" and wanting to have a weekend to relax, eat, drink, see a show, and feel a little sexy. This friend told another friend, who got her church to raised money from a bake sale to give me a great vacation. They sent me to the Canyon Ranch spa at my hotel for a mani-pedi (seriously best mani/pedi ever), sent me a gift package of natural, smell-good lotions and candles and a gift card for dinner. They even wanted to take me to a salon to get my hair and makeup did (I politely declined as we had other plans for the afternoon). How amazing is that? How incredibly sweet, and thoughtful, and kind? The kindness of strangers exists. Good karma coming back at ya!
After recovering from my liver surgery, but before I started chemo again, I fit in a two week traveling bonanza! Four nights in Paris, back home for a night, three nights in SFO, took the red-eye home, crashed for a couple of hours, packed a bag and drove four hours to the beach for the weekend.
Paris was AWESOME! My friend Jenn, who lives in London now, met me in Paris. We rented a flat on airbnb.com (it's like VRBO). It was in the 11th arrondissement (close to the Bastille and the Marais) and on the fifth floor. And in Europe, the first floor is up a floor from the street level. But the flat was great! We rented bikes and rode all around town. Checked out the Eiffel Tour, which still takes my breath away to just hang out in the park, take pics, and people watch with this magnificent piece of art as the backdrop. Went to the Rodin museum and saw some really cool sculptures in the beautiful gardens. Went to a jazz club and turned back the clock to the roaring 20s. And of course ate some fabulous meals and drank way too much good french wine.
Of course San Francisco was fantastic. I went to a conference for two days and hung out with some old colleagues/friends. Funny enough, a colleague in my same group was there too. Our offices are on the same floor in Charlotte - how did we not know each other was attending? We went to one of the newest restaurants in the city - Coqueta, from chef Michael Chiarello. It had been open 35 days and we snagged a table with our east coast dinner times - Senior Specials at 5:30pm baby! First night was Flour & Water, second night was Betlenut, and fourth night was Prospect. It's no wonder that I've gained weight through the chemo. Doctor told me not to loss weight - I'm an overachiever - I gained weight :)
And the beach was relaxing. I went to Litchfield beach to meet up with my aunt and uncle, cousin, aunt's BFF, and her daughter who grew up with my cousin. My aunt and uncle rented a 40 ft sailboat on Saturday so we tooled around the ocean for 8 hours enjoying white wine sangria and sunning on the bow. There was also Sunday tea with fancy place settings, finger sandwiches, and desserts.
And then I started chemo on Thursday. So screw you cancer. I'm keeping my Silver Preferred status on US Airways, bitch!
I was supposed to go to Montreal with my friend, Kristin. She was gonna run a half marathon (show-off) and I was gonna sleep in. We were even toying around with the idea of going to Vermont for a night at a fancy B&B while pretending to be a lesbian couple enjoying the fall colors of New England. Don't ask why I thought it would fun to pretend to be lesbians...something about autumn and Vermont and B&Bs. I was funnier in my head...
Kristin and I were also supposed to go to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving. The year before we went to NYC and decided to do an annual Thanksgiving trip somewhere. My friend, Ashley, and I were supposed to go to Vegas for her birthday and celebrate her entrance to her Doctorate program (aka last vacation for a while).
But I did manage to get in two trips to San Francisco last year! They were for work, but I got to see a good friend both times, and I loooooooooooooooove the food in that city. It's a life goal to live there at some point in my life. Just waiting for the right time...
So, life sometimes changes your plans - got it, cool, I can handle that. I'm a great planner. I love planning trips, parties, get togethers, happy hours, even hospital visits :) So I planned the shit out of my breaks between chemo and surgery and more chemo.
After recovering from chemo, but before my last surgery, me and three of my girlfriends (who had never met each other), went to Vegas. Yes, Vegas baby. I had been twice before, but for work only. I'd had vendors wine and dine me, but it's just not the same as partying with friends. And we did it up. Got a suite at the Palazzo, which is attached to the Venetian, and upgraded to a club level. Club level includes a private check in (don't have to wait in those awful Vegas check-in lines) with a Champagne welcome (and we brought additional champagne for the room). The club is open for breakfast until 9 am (or 10?), as much bottled water as you can carry, afternoon hors d'ourvres from 5-8pm and open bar from 5-7pm (including champagne), and I think dessert until 10pm, but who's around the hotel at 10pm in Vegas? Plus we have a troupe of concierges available to assist with anything - they'll unpack/pack your bags if you want (and damn it, i didn't have the balls to ask them to unpack me!)
We ate a tons of really good meals - one of which is a top 5 ever meal! I splurged one night when we went to Circo, a new "cirque" restaurant at the Bellagio, overlooking the fountains (of course!). I got the chef's tasting menu, plus the premier wine pairing (which comes with your very own sommelier, the snooty wine guy). It was a three and a half hour meal - just freaking amazing. Afterwards we went to the 10pm Cirque de Soleil show of O. I was so happy in my belly that I fell asleep a half dozen times. Now I've got to see it again.
Oh, and check this out - my friend Morgen, who flew in from Austin, TX, had asked her friend from Vegas for some suggestions of things to do. Told this friend about my "situation" and wanting to have a weekend to relax, eat, drink, see a show, and feel a little sexy. This friend told another friend, who got her church to raised money from a bake sale to give me a great vacation. They sent me to the Canyon Ranch spa at my hotel for a mani-pedi (seriously best mani/pedi ever), sent me a gift package of natural, smell-good lotions and candles and a gift card for dinner. They even wanted to take me to a salon to get my hair and makeup did (I politely declined as we had other plans for the afternoon). How amazing is that? How incredibly sweet, and thoughtful, and kind? The kindness of strangers exists. Good karma coming back at ya!
After recovering from my liver surgery, but before I started chemo again, I fit in a two week traveling bonanza! Four nights in Paris, back home for a night, three nights in SFO, took the red-eye home, crashed for a couple of hours, packed a bag and drove four hours to the beach for the weekend.
Paris was AWESOME! My friend Jenn, who lives in London now, met me in Paris. We rented a flat on airbnb.com (it's like VRBO). It was in the 11th arrondissement (close to the Bastille and the Marais) and on the fifth floor. And in Europe, the first floor is up a floor from the street level. But the flat was great! We rented bikes and rode all around town. Checked out the Eiffel Tour, which still takes my breath away to just hang out in the park, take pics, and people watch with this magnificent piece of art as the backdrop. Went to the Rodin museum and saw some really cool sculptures in the beautiful gardens. Went to a jazz club and turned back the clock to the roaring 20s. And of course ate some fabulous meals and drank way too much good french wine.
Of course San Francisco was fantastic. I went to a conference for two days and hung out with some old colleagues/friends. Funny enough, a colleague in my same group was there too. Our offices are on the same floor in Charlotte - how did we not know each other was attending? We went to one of the newest restaurants in the city - Coqueta, from chef Michael Chiarello. It had been open 35 days and we snagged a table with our east coast dinner times - Senior Specials at 5:30pm baby! First night was Flour & Water, second night was Betlenut, and fourth night was Prospect. It's no wonder that I've gained weight through the chemo. Doctor told me not to loss weight - I'm an overachiever - I gained weight :)
And the beach was relaxing. I went to Litchfield beach to meet up with my aunt and uncle, cousin, aunt's BFF, and her daughter who grew up with my cousin. My aunt and uncle rented a 40 ft sailboat on Saturday so we tooled around the ocean for 8 hours enjoying white wine sangria and sunning on the bow. There was also Sunday tea with fancy place settings, finger sandwiches, and desserts.
And then I started chemo on Thursday. So screw you cancer. I'm keeping my Silver Preferred status on US Airways, bitch!
The Follow Up Chemo Begins
On 5/23 my dad and I headed back to Duke for the start of my follow up chemo. It was a really long day since my first appointment started at 7am. That meant waking up at 5:30 to leave my aunt and uncle's house at 6ish. And again, I can't say enough about how thankful I am that they are so kind and generous to welcome us into their home throughout this adventure. Driving up the night before makes it a little easier. And it's always great to see them. We went out for ice cream after dinner to this cute little soft serve ice cream stand in Cary. Very popular neighborhood joint, and tasty :)
Grabbed breakfast and coffee on the ride to Duke, and we were still late. We're never on time, but that's my life. First up, labs. Nothing new, didn't wait long to get called back, blood draw was easy. Next up, Radiology for my CT scan. A bit of a wait but after getting called back, it went pretty quickly. By the time I was checked in to see my oncologist, we were an hour or so ahead of the schedule. And the waiting began. Didn't find out until later that we were waiting for my CT scan results. Who knew the results could come back so quickly!
Preliminary results were all clear - great news! They actually called me later that day to confirm that the final results were all clear too, since there was a small chance that they could find something later. How cool is that? And, I'm 2 months cancer free - 58 to go!
Dr. Zafar and I talked about these next steps and how long I need to do the follow up chemo. He said that there aren't any studies on Stage 4 Colon Cancer patients, so the best info they can use is about Stage 3 patients. Oh, and get this - of the people that have Stage 4 Colon Cancer that has spread to the liver, only 15-20% are eligible for the surgery to remove the tumors from the liver. Of them, only 30-50% are cancer free after 5 years (this will be me). The other 50-70% have recurrences. Could you imagine having a recurrence after 4.5 years? 6 months to go before you're considered cured (well, it's technically that you have the same change of getting cancer again as someone that has never had cancer, so that's considered cured). But still, cancer is so random.
Anyway, of the 50-70% that have recurrences, not all of them had follow up chemo after the liver surgery. So that also shows the lack of data in my area. And then you throw in my age, and how abnormal it is for someone of my grand youth to get this type of cancer, and you might as well start throwing darts for statistics. Basically, there are no statistics, good or bad, so it's all a clean slate for me to create :) So let's do this!
I decided to change my chemo treatment and switch out the Xeloda pills for the 5fu infusion IV. What that means is, instead of taking pills for two weeks, with a one week break between sessions, I will have an IV of chemo hooked up to me after my treatment at Duke. I will take this IV home with me and it will dispense over 46 hours. Then a home nurse will come to my place and disconnect me. And this will happen every two weeks, instead of every three weeks. Oh Joy!
I had two months of chemo before my liver resection surgery, and I need 4 months follow up chemo for a total of 6 months. Studies have shown that more than 6 months has no beneficial effect. But less than 6 months has a less beneficial effect. So that's the sweet spot (even though stats don't apply to me, but when you have nothing to go on, you gotta go with something apparently). 4 months of chemo, with treatments every two weeks is 8 treatments left.
After the doc, we checked into the clinic and then waited a good while. Once I was called back, we started with the normal Zofran IV for nausea, but then I didn't get my Calcium Magnesium. Nurses couldn't tell me why, but they confirmed that I wasn't supposed to get it. So that decreased my clinic time by an hour - woohoo! We might get home at a decent hour!
The Oxaliplatin chemo IV was no different than other times (got in a couple good naps in those 2 hours), and then the infusion nurse came in and hooked me up to the take-home IV. It's a ball a little larger than the palm of my hand. It was pressurized to dispense the liquid over 46 hours and it came with a bag to wear over my shoulder. Ugliest bag ever, I should get something more stylish but it's not like I'm gonna leave the house much with that sucker. I could care less...cancer gives you perspective.
They gave me this box-o-supplies. Saline and Heparin for the home nurse to flush my chest port. A toxic chemical disposal container. And a chemo spill kit. Get this - the chemo spill kit is basically a hazmat suit. So if anything spills, I put it on before cleaning the spill. This is what is going into my body. Seriously...seriously???
And then we went home. Actually felt ok to go out for dinner with my parents. I was pretty wiped out all day Friday and Saturday. And then there was the drama of the home nurse. It's Memorial Day weekend, and I need a nurse to come at 2pm on Saturday. The infusion clinic has set up a local service to attend to me, and at 4:55pm on Friday they cancel. So the infusion service is frantically trying to find someone to fill in. They ask if I can meet someone in Greensboro, which is half way to Duke (1.5 hours) - hell no, I'm not getting in a car. They ask if I know someone that would be comfortable disconnecting and flushing my port. Uh, no, I don't know anyone in the medical field, and no, we are not walking my dad through this over the phone. In the end, one of the nurses from Duke drove all the way here on Memorial Day weekend to take care of me. These cancer people are awesome (it's those hospital people that sucked!) Crisis averted.
I went out for breakfast on Sunday with the rents, and then we drove around the Vineyards at Lake Wylie where they are building their house! Can't wait for them to be in their own house again (and sell Tryon!). And then I crashed again. Monday was a wash too, and thank god it was Memorial Day. Side effects weren't too bad. Massive fatigue over the long weekend, and some nausea. Bad headache, and cold aversion for several days. Minor neuropathy in hands and feet.
One down, seven to go...next appointment is on June 6th (which has passed, but I'm catching up on the blog. Oh, and I forgot to tell you about my trip to Paris - it was awesome - more soon!)
Love to all,
Sarah
xoxo
Grabbed breakfast and coffee on the ride to Duke, and we were still late. We're never on time, but that's my life. First up, labs. Nothing new, didn't wait long to get called back, blood draw was easy. Next up, Radiology for my CT scan. A bit of a wait but after getting called back, it went pretty quickly. By the time I was checked in to see my oncologist, we were an hour or so ahead of the schedule. And the waiting began. Didn't find out until later that we were waiting for my CT scan results. Who knew the results could come back so quickly!
Preliminary results were all clear - great news! They actually called me later that day to confirm that the final results were all clear too, since there was a small chance that they could find something later. How cool is that? And, I'm 2 months cancer free - 58 to go!
Dr. Zafar and I talked about these next steps and how long I need to do the follow up chemo. He said that there aren't any studies on Stage 4 Colon Cancer patients, so the best info they can use is about Stage 3 patients. Oh, and get this - of the people that have Stage 4 Colon Cancer that has spread to the liver, only 15-20% are eligible for the surgery to remove the tumors from the liver. Of them, only 30-50% are cancer free after 5 years (this will be me). The other 50-70% have recurrences. Could you imagine having a recurrence after 4.5 years? 6 months to go before you're considered cured (well, it's technically that you have the same change of getting cancer again as someone that has never had cancer, so that's considered cured). But still, cancer is so random.
Anyway, of the 50-70% that have recurrences, not all of them had follow up chemo after the liver surgery. So that also shows the lack of data in my area. And then you throw in my age, and how abnormal it is for someone of my grand youth to get this type of cancer, and you might as well start throwing darts for statistics. Basically, there are no statistics, good or bad, so it's all a clean slate for me to create :) So let's do this!
I decided to change my chemo treatment and switch out the Xeloda pills for the 5fu infusion IV. What that means is, instead of taking pills for two weeks, with a one week break between sessions, I will have an IV of chemo hooked up to me after my treatment at Duke. I will take this IV home with me and it will dispense over 46 hours. Then a home nurse will come to my place and disconnect me. And this will happen every two weeks, instead of every three weeks. Oh Joy!
I had two months of chemo before my liver resection surgery, and I need 4 months follow up chemo for a total of 6 months. Studies have shown that more than 6 months has no beneficial effect. But less than 6 months has a less beneficial effect. So that's the sweet spot (even though stats don't apply to me, but when you have nothing to go on, you gotta go with something apparently). 4 months of chemo, with treatments every two weeks is 8 treatments left.
After the doc, we checked into the clinic and then waited a good while. Once I was called back, we started with the normal Zofran IV for nausea, but then I didn't get my Calcium Magnesium. Nurses couldn't tell me why, but they confirmed that I wasn't supposed to get it. So that decreased my clinic time by an hour - woohoo! We might get home at a decent hour!
The Oxaliplatin chemo IV was no different than other times (got in a couple good naps in those 2 hours), and then the infusion nurse came in and hooked me up to the take-home IV. It's a ball a little larger than the palm of my hand. It was pressurized to dispense the liquid over 46 hours and it came with a bag to wear over my shoulder. Ugliest bag ever, I should get something more stylish but it's not like I'm gonna leave the house much with that sucker. I could care less...cancer gives you perspective.
They gave me this box-o-supplies. Saline and Heparin for the home nurse to flush my chest port. A toxic chemical disposal container. And a chemo spill kit. Get this - the chemo spill kit is basically a hazmat suit. So if anything spills, I put it on before cleaning the spill. This is what is going into my body. Seriously...seriously???
And then we went home. Actually felt ok to go out for dinner with my parents. I was pretty wiped out all day Friday and Saturday. And then there was the drama of the home nurse. It's Memorial Day weekend, and I need a nurse to come at 2pm on Saturday. The infusion clinic has set up a local service to attend to me, and at 4:55pm on Friday they cancel. So the infusion service is frantically trying to find someone to fill in. They ask if I can meet someone in Greensboro, which is half way to Duke (1.5 hours) - hell no, I'm not getting in a car. They ask if I know someone that would be comfortable disconnecting and flushing my port. Uh, no, I don't know anyone in the medical field, and no, we are not walking my dad through this over the phone. In the end, one of the nurses from Duke drove all the way here on Memorial Day weekend to take care of me. These cancer people are awesome (it's those hospital people that sucked!) Crisis averted.
I went out for breakfast on Sunday with the rents, and then we drove around the Vineyards at Lake Wylie where they are building their house! Can't wait for them to be in their own house again (and sell Tryon!). And then I crashed again. Monday was a wash too, and thank god it was Memorial Day. Side effects weren't too bad. Massive fatigue over the long weekend, and some nausea. Bad headache, and cold aversion for several days. Minor neuropathy in hands and feet.
One down, seven to go...next appointment is on June 6th (which has passed, but I'm catching up on the blog. Oh, and I forgot to tell you about my trip to Paris - it was awesome - more soon!)
Love to all,
Sarah
xoxo
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
My Next Steps
Today my dad and I went back to Duke for a post-surgical checkup and a touch base with the oncologist. My liver surgeon, Dr Clary, re-iterated what I had already read in the pathology results that were posted to my Duke online portal - they got all of the cancer. I shouldn't perform any abdominal exercise for another 3-4 weeks, but there is no concern for me going to Paris in early May, or going to San Fran after that for work. So although we could start chemo on May 1st, my travel plans will delay it until May 23rd.
Then we saw Leigh, my oncologist's nurse practitioner. She's awesome. She greeted us with a big hug and congratulations for doing so well with the surgery. Although Dr Zafar wasn't in the clinic today, she didn't want us to have to come back on Thursday, so she fit us in today. We agreed to start chemo on May 23rd after I return from Paris and San Francisco. She has recommended 4-6 months of chemo, although she said that Dr Zafar could possibly have a different recommended duration (but it's unlikely). I'll be able to debate with him about my length of chemo when I return in May :)
I'll have a CT scan to create a baseline, and then start chemo. Normally we would do the CT the day before chemo so we can have the results before chemo, but since we're coming from Charlotte, we can fit it all into the same day. The results won't change the chemo treatment, so it really doesn't matter that I won't have the results. I will have scans every 2-3 months during treatment, and then every three months for the first two years. Patients that see a recurrence typically see it in the first two years, and with this type of cancer, it would likely reoccur in my liver. After two years, we would scan every six months, because if we continued with scans every 3 months, I could get cancer for all of the radiation. And given my young age, we need to limit my exposure to radiation to allow for exposure throughout my life. I love hearing people tell me I'm young haha!
So I'm special (well, we all knew that didn't we?). It's not typical for someone of my young age to get this type of cancer. This is an important fact for two reasons. First, there's not a lot of data to use as a guideline for treatment. There actually isn't much data in general because this type of treatment wasn't around five or six years ago. And if you are considered "cured" after five years of being cancer-free, you can see how that doesn't leave much data to go on.
Secondly, because I "wasn't supposed to get cancer at this young age", it also means that I might be more likely to get other types of cancer. No one knows why I got cancer, so it logically follows that I might be at higher risk for other types of cancer. That was a hard thing to hear, but I think it was important to hear. I'm not yet in the clear. This is still serious. So although I don't want to do anymore chemo, it's necessary, and probably crucial.
I'm just going to take this treatment by treatment. I might only do 3 more months, or I might do 6 more months. But I'm not gonna let it get in the way of my life. My aunt has been talking about a trip to Santa Fe in September, and I'm going damn it! I'll reschedule the chemo around MY LIFE! I'm not putting my life on hold any longer :)
One last decision that I need to make is related to the actual treatment type. I'll still get the Oxaliplatin via my chest port, but I might switch my other treatment. I was previously taking Xeloda, which is the pill form of 5FU. I would take Xeloda twice a day for two weeks, with one week off. So I was going to Duke every three weeks with either my dad or stepmom driving me. On treatment 3, I got this nasty sunburnt feet side effect. I couldn't walk because my feet seriously felt burnt and eventually peeled. We reduced the dosage for treatment 4, after an additional two week break for the holidays, and although I didn't have the pain, my feet shed an entire layer like a molting snake. It was icky!
The reasons I had originally chosen Xeloda over 5FU was because I thought I would prefer this icky foot side effect to the 5FU side effect of mouth sores. Plus, 5FU is administered via my chest port from a pump over 48 hours. I wear this little pump in a fanny pack and a nurse comes to my home to remove it after 48 hours. And finally, 5FU is administered every two weeks, not three like Xeloda.
But I seem to not tolerate the Xeloda very well. I'm nauseous pretty much the whole two weeks. And although the foot thing seems ok as long as it's just peeling and not burning, my feet are already extremely sensitive. I haven't had any mouth sores with the Oxaliplatin, so I probably won't with the 5FU. But I don't know if I can handle chemo every two weeks. So that's a decision that I need to make, but I've got a few weeks.
So that's it for now!
Love to all,
Sarah
Then we saw Leigh, my oncologist's nurse practitioner. She's awesome. She greeted us with a big hug and congratulations for doing so well with the surgery. Although Dr Zafar wasn't in the clinic today, she didn't want us to have to come back on Thursday, so she fit us in today. We agreed to start chemo on May 23rd after I return from Paris and San Francisco. She has recommended 4-6 months of chemo, although she said that Dr Zafar could possibly have a different recommended duration (but it's unlikely). I'll be able to debate with him about my length of chemo when I return in May :)
I'll have a CT scan to create a baseline, and then start chemo. Normally we would do the CT the day before chemo so we can have the results before chemo, but since we're coming from Charlotte, we can fit it all into the same day. The results won't change the chemo treatment, so it really doesn't matter that I won't have the results. I will have scans every 2-3 months during treatment, and then every three months for the first two years. Patients that see a recurrence typically see it in the first two years, and with this type of cancer, it would likely reoccur in my liver. After two years, we would scan every six months, because if we continued with scans every 3 months, I could get cancer for all of the radiation. And given my young age, we need to limit my exposure to radiation to allow for exposure throughout my life. I love hearing people tell me I'm young haha!
So I'm special (well, we all knew that didn't we?). It's not typical for someone of my young age to get this type of cancer. This is an important fact for two reasons. First, there's not a lot of data to use as a guideline for treatment. There actually isn't much data in general because this type of treatment wasn't around five or six years ago. And if you are considered "cured" after five years of being cancer-free, you can see how that doesn't leave much data to go on.
Secondly, because I "wasn't supposed to get cancer at this young age", it also means that I might be more likely to get other types of cancer. No one knows why I got cancer, so it logically follows that I might be at higher risk for other types of cancer. That was a hard thing to hear, but I think it was important to hear. I'm not yet in the clear. This is still serious. So although I don't want to do anymore chemo, it's necessary, and probably crucial.
I'm just going to take this treatment by treatment. I might only do 3 more months, or I might do 6 more months. But I'm not gonna let it get in the way of my life. My aunt has been talking about a trip to Santa Fe in September, and I'm going damn it! I'll reschedule the chemo around MY LIFE! I'm not putting my life on hold any longer :)
One last decision that I need to make is related to the actual treatment type. I'll still get the Oxaliplatin via my chest port, but I might switch my other treatment. I was previously taking Xeloda, which is the pill form of 5FU. I would take Xeloda twice a day for two weeks, with one week off. So I was going to Duke every three weeks with either my dad or stepmom driving me. On treatment 3, I got this nasty sunburnt feet side effect. I couldn't walk because my feet seriously felt burnt and eventually peeled. We reduced the dosage for treatment 4, after an additional two week break for the holidays, and although I didn't have the pain, my feet shed an entire layer like a molting snake. It was icky!
The reasons I had originally chosen Xeloda over 5FU was because I thought I would prefer this icky foot side effect to the 5FU side effect of mouth sores. Plus, 5FU is administered via my chest port from a pump over 48 hours. I wear this little pump in a fanny pack and a nurse comes to my home to remove it after 48 hours. And finally, 5FU is administered every two weeks, not three like Xeloda.
But I seem to not tolerate the Xeloda very well. I'm nauseous pretty much the whole two weeks. And although the foot thing seems ok as long as it's just peeling and not burning, my feet are already extremely sensitive. I haven't had any mouth sores with the Oxaliplatin, so I probably won't with the 5FU. But I don't know if I can handle chemo every two weeks. So that's a decision that I need to make, but I've got a few weeks.
So that's it for now!
Love to all,
Sarah
My surgery
So the next steps on this journey to being a cancer survivor was to remove the tumors that had spread to my liver from the primary cancer that was previously in my colon. On March 13th I had liver resection surgery. Before slicing me open, they took a look around laparoscopically to make sure that they didn't see anything new. Things looked good, so they made an incision from above my belly button to my breast plate (right in between my breasts). They actually moved my liver over to this incision in order to avoid having to cut horizontally, which would've cut through muscle. I had communicated to the surgeon that I was concerned about cutting through muscle, so I felt it was very thoughtful of him to have been able to avoid that. I think it shows that you really need to communicate with your surgeon/doctor about your concerns because they sometimes have alternatives. I did the same with my anesthesiologist, and he made some adjustments to my treatment based on my concerns. They really do listen!
The surgery went smoothly and only took 3.5 hours, which is shorter then the 4-5 estimated hours. They removed about 15% of my liver, which is considered very minimal. You can have 50% of your liver removed and have normal liver functions...and your liver regenerates in 2-3 weeks. Crazy, huh?
So surgery was considered very successful, and I've since received my pathology results which show that the four tumors they removed where just normal tumors (nothing weird about them), and the margins around the tumors were normal cells. This means that they successfully removed all of the cancer. So I am currently CANCER-FREE, and the countdown begins toward being a cancer survivor. 59 months to go without any new cancer :)
Unfortunately my hospital stay sucked royally. There was one good nurse, a couple semi-competent ones, and a few horrible ones. I keep saying that I want to write about it, or even write a letter to Duke about it, but I must admit that I feel a bit traumatized by it and don't want to re-live it. So I'll leave that for another post, someday :)
Recovery was a bit harder than my previous surgery, and that was a bit of a surprise. I was really tired for the first two weeks. I needed a nap every few hours. I got some good supplements from my homeopathic oncologist, got some new homeopathic meds from my local homeopath, and I started acupuncture. I was feeling much better within a week and was able to go back to work, but working from home to take it easy.
I went back into the office yesterday, and I'm doing really well. My energy is good and I don't have any pain. My biggest complaint is that my back hurts because my muscles are overcompensating for the lack of core strength in my abdomen. You forget how much you need your abs to sit and stand up straight! I can't wait to be able to build that strength back up. And damn I need a massage!
Thank you to everyone that has sent flowers, cards, chocolate-covered strawberries, and positive thoughts my way over the last several weeks. And a most important THANK YOU to my brother from Montana, my cousin Ann from Arizona, my mom from Chicago, and my Dad and stepmom in Charlotte who have taken time out of their lives to assist me in my recovery from this surgery. I really could not have done this without each of you, and I can't thank you enough.
Xoxo
Sarah
The surgery went smoothly and only took 3.5 hours, which is shorter then the 4-5 estimated hours. They removed about 15% of my liver, which is considered very minimal. You can have 50% of your liver removed and have normal liver functions...and your liver regenerates in 2-3 weeks. Crazy, huh?
So surgery was considered very successful, and I've since received my pathology results which show that the four tumors they removed where just normal tumors (nothing weird about them), and the margins around the tumors were normal cells. This means that they successfully removed all of the cancer. So I am currently CANCER-FREE, and the countdown begins toward being a cancer survivor. 59 months to go without any new cancer :)
Unfortunately my hospital stay sucked royally. There was one good nurse, a couple semi-competent ones, and a few horrible ones. I keep saying that I want to write about it, or even write a letter to Duke about it, but I must admit that I feel a bit traumatized by it and don't want to re-live it. So I'll leave that for another post, someday :)
Recovery was a bit harder than my previous surgery, and that was a bit of a surprise. I was really tired for the first two weeks. I needed a nap every few hours. I got some good supplements from my homeopathic oncologist, got some new homeopathic meds from my local homeopath, and I started acupuncture. I was feeling much better within a week and was able to go back to work, but working from home to take it easy.
I went back into the office yesterday, and I'm doing really well. My energy is good and I don't have any pain. My biggest complaint is that my back hurts because my muscles are overcompensating for the lack of core strength in my abdomen. You forget how much you need your abs to sit and stand up straight! I can't wait to be able to build that strength back up. And damn I need a massage!
Thank you to everyone that has sent flowers, cards, chocolate-covered strawberries, and positive thoughts my way over the last several weeks. And a most important THANK YOU to my brother from Montana, my cousin Ann from Arizona, my mom from Chicago, and my Dad and stepmom in Charlotte who have taken time out of their lives to assist me in my recovery from this surgery. I really could not have done this without each of you, and I can't thank you enough.
Xoxo
Sarah
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
The Results!
Today I returned to Duke to talk to the liver surgeon. I had an MRI and chest CT the week before, so these results would tell me whether the chemo was successful at containing the cancer and preventing it from spreading. If you recall, when I first started this journey, the liver surgeon said the location and size of the tumors (there are actually four of them) dictate whether we can cut them out and leave enough liver to function on its own. The results were good. The chemo has been successful at shrinking the tumors and they have not spread. Yay!
The next step is surgery. I asked whether it was important to have the surgery as soon as possible because I have a dear friend's wedding in early March that I really want to be able to enjoy. The nurse said I didn't have to rush it, so we picked 3/13. This means that I can't go to a conference later that month, which is unfortunate since I was looking forward to it. But oh well.
I learned that I should have a fully functioning liver after recovery, and recovery could last 2-3 months. The surgery will last 4 hours and I'll be in the hospital for a week. Comparing this with my previous surgery, this surgery is a bit more serious and risky. Less than 1% have complications during the surgery (ie death) but 20-30% have complications with the recovery. Complications vary significantly so I have no idea what to expect.
I'll be removing part of my liver, but the remaining part will expand to fill in the missing space. The veins and bile ducts won't regrow, but that shouldn't affect the liver function. So that's great news! After I've recovered from the surgery, I'll do a few more months of chemo to kill all the microcells that no one can see to ensure they don't find homes and grow into nasty tumors. So the end is near(er).
So now to plan it all out. When will I go back to Duke for my pre-op anesthesia visit? Can my brother come for the surgery? When will my mom come after surgery to help me recover? We'll be at Duke Hospital, so where will my parents stay while I'm in the hospital? What work items will I need to get coverage on? And finally, when can I finally take a vacation????? Lots of question, need to work on the answers.
Baby steps...
The next step is surgery. I asked whether it was important to have the surgery as soon as possible because I have a dear friend's wedding in early March that I really want to be able to enjoy. The nurse said I didn't have to rush it, so we picked 3/13. This means that I can't go to a conference later that month, which is unfortunate since I was looking forward to it. But oh well.
I learned that I should have a fully functioning liver after recovery, and recovery could last 2-3 months. The surgery will last 4 hours and I'll be in the hospital for a week. Comparing this with my previous surgery, this surgery is a bit more serious and risky. Less than 1% have complications during the surgery (ie death) but 20-30% have complications with the recovery. Complications vary significantly so I have no idea what to expect.
I'll be removing part of my liver, but the remaining part will expand to fill in the missing space. The veins and bile ducts won't regrow, but that shouldn't affect the liver function. So that's great news! After I've recovered from the surgery, I'll do a few more months of chemo to kill all the microcells that no one can see to ensure they don't find homes and grow into nasty tumors. So the end is near(er).
So now to plan it all out. When will I go back to Duke for my pre-op anesthesia visit? Can my brother come for the surgery? When will my mom come after surgery to help me recover? We'll be at Duke Hospital, so where will my parents stay while I'm in the hospital? What work items will I need to get coverage on? And finally, when can I finally take a vacation????? Lots of question, need to work on the answers.
Baby steps...
Monday, January 14, 2013
Catching Up
Happy New Year folks!
It's been too long since my last update. I had a great holiday. My mom came down from Chicago for two and a half weeks. It was so great to have her around. My feet were in a really bad state and she was so incredibly helpful giving me cool water foot baths and such. My mom rocks!
My brother Josh, sis-in-law Gloria, and nephews Cedar (9) and Jasper (4) came from Bozeman, MT for ten days. We split them up between my place and my dad's so we both had packed houses. It was awesome to have EVERYONE together for the holidays (for 10 days!) We had a lot of good meals together, went to the NC Transportation museum in Spencer, NC to see the trains, went to Discovery Place and saw an IMAX movie, and visited a couple of parks. It was a very nice holiday.
Then it was bad to the real world. On 1/3, my dad and I headed back to Duke for chemo #4. I think the two week break made a big difference. It kind of reset my system, so this one felt a lot like my first one in terms of side effects. My feet are doing ok, and the nausea was very limited.
Today I headed back to Duke for the tests. I had an MRI scan and a chest CT. I've never had an MRI before and can now understand why people freak out. It's not quick like a CT scan. It took about 25 mins and the whole time you're in this very tiny tube. You've got headphones on, streaming Pandora, because the scans are very loud. The nurse said she would blindfold me, if I wanted, and although I turned down her offer, I can totally understand the benefit. Not knowing that I was in a tight space would be a lot easier. Although, this tube is open on both sides...you just can't see it. All in all, not bad.
And the CT scan was easy peasy since they didn't need contrast, which meant I didn't have to drink the nasty crystal light crap that takes 45 mins to drink, nor did I need the IV contrast that makes you feel like you're peeing on yourself. Fun stuff, huh? So I was in and out of there!
We come back on 1/22 for the results. The results could be one of two things. Here's what we want to hear - "Your cancer has not spread anywhere and it has not grown anymore". This would mean that I can have surgery next to remove the tumors in my liver. Then we'll follow up with 2-6 months of chemo to kill all the possible microcells and ensure that I'm cancer-free. The results we don't want to hear is that the cancer has grown in my liver and/or spread somewhere else (like my lungs, hence the chest CT). That would mean that I would need a new chemo plan and the possibility of surgery to remove the tumors in my liver (and cure me) decreases. That's a scary thought, so I tend to be positive. Why wouldn't they have been able to contain the cancer, right? The results will be good :)
I'm really looking forward to these results because I've felt that I couldn't plan any trips because of all these appointments and side effects. And boy am I getting the traveling itch! I've got a ton of trips already in mind. I wanna do another long weekend in Paris (it's my new annual trip). I'm thinking of doing Vegas with my parents to hit up a few shows. And then there's the trip to Turkey to charter a boat and crew and just tool around the Aegean Sea for a week or so. And of course I need to do a European vacation (FYI Turkey is at the crossroads of Asia and Europe), so I'm thinking Vienna, Budapest, and Krakow. I'd also love to get in a trip to San Diego, Boston, and Montreal, and maybe I can even do my Thanksgiving in Puerto Rico like I was supposed to do last year! Oh, the places to go! 1/22 can't get here quick enough...
It's been too long since my last update. I had a great holiday. My mom came down from Chicago for two and a half weeks. It was so great to have her around. My feet were in a really bad state and she was so incredibly helpful giving me cool water foot baths and such. My mom rocks!
My brother Josh, sis-in-law Gloria, and nephews Cedar (9) and Jasper (4) came from Bozeman, MT for ten days. We split them up between my place and my dad's so we both had packed houses. It was awesome to have EVERYONE together for the holidays (for 10 days!) We had a lot of good meals together, went to the NC Transportation museum in Spencer, NC to see the trains, went to Discovery Place and saw an IMAX movie, and visited a couple of parks. It was a very nice holiday.
Then it was bad to the real world. On 1/3, my dad and I headed back to Duke for chemo #4. I think the two week break made a big difference. It kind of reset my system, so this one felt a lot like my first one in terms of side effects. My feet are doing ok, and the nausea was very limited.
Today I headed back to Duke for the tests. I had an MRI scan and a chest CT. I've never had an MRI before and can now understand why people freak out. It's not quick like a CT scan. It took about 25 mins and the whole time you're in this very tiny tube. You've got headphones on, streaming Pandora, because the scans are very loud. The nurse said she would blindfold me, if I wanted, and although I turned down her offer, I can totally understand the benefit. Not knowing that I was in a tight space would be a lot easier. Although, this tube is open on both sides...you just can't see it. All in all, not bad.
And the CT scan was easy peasy since they didn't need contrast, which meant I didn't have to drink the nasty crystal light crap that takes 45 mins to drink, nor did I need the IV contrast that makes you feel like you're peeing on yourself. Fun stuff, huh? So I was in and out of there!
We come back on 1/22 for the results. The results could be one of two things. Here's what we want to hear - "Your cancer has not spread anywhere and it has not grown anymore". This would mean that I can have surgery next to remove the tumors in my liver. Then we'll follow up with 2-6 months of chemo to kill all the possible microcells and ensure that I'm cancer-free. The results we don't want to hear is that the cancer has grown in my liver and/or spread somewhere else (like my lungs, hence the chest CT). That would mean that I would need a new chemo plan and the possibility of surgery to remove the tumors in my liver (and cure me) decreases. That's a scary thought, so I tend to be positive. Why wouldn't they have been able to contain the cancer, right? The results will be good :)
I'm really looking forward to these results because I've felt that I couldn't plan any trips because of all these appointments and side effects. And boy am I getting the traveling itch! I've got a ton of trips already in mind. I wanna do another long weekend in Paris (it's my new annual trip). I'm thinking of doing Vegas with my parents to hit up a few shows. And then there's the trip to Turkey to charter a boat and crew and just tool around the Aegean Sea for a week or so. And of course I need to do a European vacation (FYI Turkey is at the crossroads of Asia and Europe), so I'm thinking Vienna, Budapest, and Krakow. I'd also love to get in a trip to San Diego, Boston, and Montreal, and maybe I can even do my Thanksgiving in Puerto Rico like I was supposed to do last year! Oh, the places to go! 1/22 can't get here quick enough...
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