Things seem to be getting better every day. Yesterday I didn't take any nausea meds and I felt ok, so I'm gonna try to stay away from those for now. Not sure if some fatigue was a side effect of the nausea meds, so my energy has been really good too.
I had dinner with a few friends on Tuesday night, and I went to a small happy hour for a colleague on Wednesday. It was good to get out and see friends since I've been working from home all week. But man, it's hard to have to put pants (and a bra!) on when you've been working from home all week - hahaha! I had a glass of red wine with dinner on Tuesday, but only drank about 1/4. I just wanted to see how it tasted and how I felt. It tasted good, but it didn't "feel" the same. It wasn't a bad reaction but more of nothing. So not really worth it, for now.
I'm feeling really good right now - almost normal (Mon Dieu!) It's been soooooooooooooo nice having my mom here this week. She makes me awesome snacks of fresh fruit, Ants on a Log, and fresh pressed juice. She's been making some great meals too and we've hit a good balance between nutrition and cravings because I crave carbs and meat right now. She leaves tomorrow morning (boooooo!) but she'll be back in 7 weeks (yes, I'm counting).
So check this out - my first chemo treatment costs $30,858.70 - isn't that CRAZY! The major cost was the Oxaliplatin at $27,450. With my Aetna coverage, the member rate is $2,199.93, which is covered 100% because I already met my max out of pocket for the year. Not to get into politics, but this is one hell of a reason to have health insurance. This is the cost for each treatment. CRAZY!
This weekend I'll be going with my dad and stepmom to Raleigh for my cousin's baby shower. I'm excited to see a bunch of my family. Then it will be back to work on Monday. I must admit that I have enjoyed working from home this week, but it's likely that it's because my mom has been with me. It'll be nice to be back in the office surrounded by my colleagues, but that means putting on pants again :(
Sarah xoxo
Friday, October 26, 2012
Monday, October 22, 2012
Side Effects
It's Day 4 after chemo via IV (Oxaliplatin), and Day 2 of Xeloda (pills for 14 days) and the side effects have been a learning experience.
Aversion to cold - this was most prominent on Day 1 and has greatly subsided, which is supposed to be the case. The duration of this side effect will increase with each Oxi session. This will be quite annoying because it will prevent me from doing some fairly minor things like:
Aversion to cold - this was most prominent on Day 1 and has greatly subsided, which is supposed to be the case. The duration of this side effect will increase with each Oxi session. This will be quite annoying because it will prevent me from doing some fairly minor things like:
- Washing my hands in a public restroom if there is no hot water
- Using hand sanitizer (alcohol is cooling)
- Preparing foods that have been in the fridge/freezer
- Drinking/eating cold and even cool liquids
I don't have the seasons on my side since winter is coming and that should really suck. Breathing cold air will become painful, and I'll need to bundle up just to walk those 4 blocks to work. And I'll probably have to change my work wardrobe to include things like boots, tights, leggings, and leg warmers. Just another excuse to go shopping!
Neuropathy (loss of feeling) in the hands/feet - I had minor tingling occasionally during the first 24 hours. Again, the duration of this side effect will increase with each Oxi session.
Nausea - ick. I'm not a fan of taking pills but boy did that change once I started feeling nauseous. Let me try to explain so you can empathize. You know when you feel sick and nauseous and you think to yourself "Maybe if I just puke, I'll feel better"? Well, even if I puke, I won't feel any different. And, I'm probably going to feel like this for a while. That sucks, doesn't it? But, things are getting better. Drinking a lot of water really helps (isn't that cool?). And eating sometimes helps too - especially sweets (yay Halloween candy - Candy Corns are my favorite). I'm taking Zofran and I haven't needed the Compazine yet.
Fatigue - wow, I had no idea you could be so tired...ALL THE TIME. But it's weird because it's not a fatigue that is preventing me from doing things. It's just slowing me down. If I rally, I can still "do it". I just need a little extra motivation...and naps :) I took a great two hour nap yesterday after having brunch with friends. I love Sunday naps. I need help reminding me to take it easy because I so used to having energy and wanting to go-go-go. So please help remind me to slow down.
Loss of Appetite - I think my taste buds are dying/changing. I have a funny taste in my mouth that just won't go away. The first bite of food makes my jaw hurt - like when you eat a watermelon jolly rancher. My stomach still knows I'm hungry, so that helps "remind me" to eat when I don't feel like it. But I definitely still have an appetite. When I smell food, I want to eat it. And I still have cravings, although they're not very healthy. I had a burger and tater tots on Saturday, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about those tater tots! My mom and I were making a grocery list and I told her how I'm craving carbs but I wanted to get something healthier than tater tots. After not coming up with a suggestion that seemed to make me happy, she looked at me and said "Do you want me to buy you tater tots, honey?" No sweeter words were ever uttered :) Boy do I love my MoMMa.
Colon Issues - yes, constipation. The side effect of the nausea meds is constipation. And a side effect of the Xeloda is diarrhea. Why these things can't cancel each other out, who knows. I only have slight issues with the former, so we'll see what happens in the coming days.
I took a good walk with my mom today - 45 minutes in the beautiful sunshine (damn it was hot!). I was so amazed at how much energy that gave me. There was a period after the walk that I felt normal, and even 5 hours later I still feel really good. I need to take more walks!
I've decided to work from home this week while my mom is here. I can accomplish everything that I need to do from home, and it's great to have my mom around to feed me. I sound like an infant saying that - I need help feeding myself - but I think I really do. When I'm hungry, I'm hungry and I don't have the energy to make myself food. I need it now! And when I'm working, I don't have the time to make my food. I need my nourishment, and I right now I need my mommy.
Ok, it's debate time - and Go Bears!
Friday, October 19, 2012
1st Chemo Treatment
On Wednesday, my mom, dad, and stepmom piled into the car to head to Duke. We drove to Cary, NC to spend the night with my dad's cousin and wife, whom I consider my aunt and uncle :) We had dinner with my cousin, and another aunt and uncle. It was nice to see the family, and it was so very nice to have a place to stay close to Duke.
Our day at Duke started with a 9am arrival time (10 mins late) to the Lab area. We waited about 30 minutes before my pager went off. My dad came went back with me to get my blood drawn which will be used as a baseline. They will run a CEA test, which can sometimes be used as a baseline for cancer tracking - or not, so don't get your hopes up. They also told me that the redness of the skin around the portacath was an aversion to the adhesive during surgery - that wasn't normal! I thought it was just a damn big bruise! It's gotten so much better, but it was also nice to hear that this wasn't normal :) So I need the super sensitive adhesives. They inserted a needle into the port in my chest, applied adhesive around it to secure it, and the taped the short tube up until I needed it for dispersion of the chemo via IV.
Then we headed up to the GI Cancer Clinic to met with Dr Zafar. After another 30 minutes or so, I was paged and we all headed back. Fortunately the rooms are big enough to have 4 people, plus the resident and doc in the room :) The resident came in first and explained what was going to happen today. About 10 mins later, she came back with Dr Zafar. He explained the possible side effects of treatment and what to do (page him, leave a message, vs send an email). He explained how he did not want to get an email explaining how I just woke up off of the bathroom flooring having passed out. That would make him pass out and then where would we be?
We were instructed to check out of the clinic to schedule another appointment for chemo in 3 weeks, and then we could go up to the Chemo Lab and check in for treatment. I mentioned that our appointment wasn't until 12:45pm so we were thinking about going to lunch, which was fine too. We were also instructed to go downstairs to the pharmacy and pick up the nausea meds that I was getting along with the Xeloda, which is the oral chemo that I'll take for 14 days (with 7 days off). At the pharmacy, the guy taking my info told me that my prescription service, CVS CareMark, sometimes doesn't allow dispersion of Xeloda on site, only via mail order. He said he would call me if there were any issues with the prescription. More on this later...
We headed out to lunch at a French bistro, La Rue Cler, and had yummy, yummy, yummy french food. And we were almost 45 minutes late to the chemo appointment - oops! We sat around for 45 minutes or so, while they mixed my chemo treatment, and then i went back with my mom. They hooked me to the IV, and first dispensed 20 minutes of steroids, then 30 mins of calcium magnesium, then 2 hours of Oxaliplatin (the chemo), then 30 minutes of calcium magnesium, and then the flush my port with saline and heparin to prevent blood clots.
During this three and a half hours, I was in a nice little infusion room against the window, with a comfy recliner, and warm blanket, and a TV (cuz daytime television rocks!) My mom had a smaller recliner and a warm blanket as well. We took some short naps, but kept being interrupted by the beeping of the IV whenever the drip ran out at 20 mins, then 30 mins, then the pharmacist came back to discuss the side effects in great detail with us.
My mom switched out with my dad for a bit while my stepmom ran downstairs to the pharmacy to get my meds. She came rushing back through on the phone telling us each to perform some task because of the prescription problems. The pharmacy guy early decided NOT to call me and inform me of the pending issue with getting the Xeloda. So I talked to CVS CareMark and got instructions to get a prescription to them from my doc, which my dad pager Dr Zafar to ask about starting the Xeloda later than anticipated. I was totally annoyed with all of that, and my health insurance support contact from Aetna that calls to check on my progress through this journey was very apologetic today when I told her about this debacle because that was something she was supposed to assist with, but didn't realize that I was to take Xeloda. She made up for it by calling CVS to check on the status of the prescription.
Side note on this "health insurance support contact" from Aetna. Is it weird that I'm getting phone calls from my health insurance company to "talk" about all of this? It's all confidential, but it's Aetna, so it's not confidential to them. It just feels a little too "in my business", but I feel like I have to talk to them to "play the game" with the insurance company. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely grateful to have excellent health insurance to cover all of this, but this just seems a little too big brother-ish. Maybe it's just me.
Then it was all over and we headed home. I immediately felt a little tingling in my hands - that's the aversion to cold. And on the way home, the indian food leftovers tasted a little less spicy. I drank some room temp water and it was tingly in my mouth. I was hungry and munched on my snacks during the car ride home but also felt this new sense of fatigue. I wasn't tired enough to sleep - just tired.
I also had a light dinner of soup and hot tea, and then headed to bed. I slept a bit poorly. I was cold when I got home, but hot in bed. I tossed around every once in a while instead of sleeping the whole night through. I awoke about 9 hours later and was awake, but not as refreshed as I have been lately.
The day started out well, with the exception of the result when I forget not to touch cold, or even cool, items. Even the glass of water that was sitting out all night was cool to the touch, and therefore a bit tingly on the fingers. Such a weird feeling. I wanted to wash my hands and I usually just turn on the cold water, because it's never really cold water in the summer/fall, and then stick my hands under to get them a little wet. Boy that is a shock of pins and needles to the hands - OUCH! I can't go in the refrigerator nor the freezer. I've got to buy some gloves to get around in the kitchen. This is gonna get old real fast. These are even more barriers to me actually doing things in the kitchen. It's like I'm just not destined to cook. Where is my cooking house boy???
I felt like being productive, so I started the day by downloading some of the pics off of my phone into iPhotos, since I'll be getting an new iPhone 5 soon. Then I started working a bit, and ended up going all day. I've got so much work to catch up on, and I felt like working. After lunch the nausea started. I thought it went away for a little bit, but then it came back. I took a nausea pill around 3pm and there really hasn't been much change. It just feels crappy, but not debilitating. I could still work, although I bitched to colleagues about my nausea (just I like to bitch about my uncomfortable state). I felt hungry every once in a while, and that seemed to help. And then I had a bite of sugar and that really seemed to liven me up. So I think sweets will bring on appetite. Note to self, do not eat sugar until food is ready.
I also had a mild, dull headache for most of the day. So the side effects are mild, nothing I can't deal with, but it will take some getting used to. This is a new normal, and hopefully I will only have to deal with all of this for less than a year. Oh, and I think i'm losing my taste buds - damn it!
Tomorrow I need to get move around more. I need to exercise, although I was informed that I can't lift weights heavier than 5lbs with this portacath. So that limits my personal training sessions. I'll have to see if PT will even be worth it if I so limited with weights. But I can still walk/run on the treadmill, and use the sauna and steam room at the club. I NEED to get back to the club and into a routine again.
And I need to figure out my food situation. I have this awesome meal from Nourish tonight. Nourish is this healthy food service that delivers one a week. You choose from a menu that is posted Monday afternoon, and this place is so popular the menu is sold out in less than 5 hours every week! Tonights meal was Falafel with grains and excellent raw vegetables. And it tasted like cardboard to me :( I was so disappointed. I know I still have my salty and sweet tastebuds, but I wonder if that's it. I get this pang in my jaw during the first bit of food - kind of like the sour feeling when eating a watermelon jolly rancher. It's very weird.
Wow, so that was one help of a post. A lot has happened over the last 48 hours. And so much more to come. I'm still in good spirits but just a little shocked by the side effects. And I'm a little more nervous about the side effects of the Xeloda that I will start tomorrow night. Hand/Foot Syndrome, which is basically like getting a sunburn on your hands and feet. yay!
So one chemo treatment down, only 4 to go before we re-evaluate the situation. I can do this :)
much love,
Sarah xoxo
Our day at Duke started with a 9am arrival time (10 mins late) to the Lab area. We waited about 30 minutes before my pager went off. My dad came went back with me to get my blood drawn which will be used as a baseline. They will run a CEA test, which can sometimes be used as a baseline for cancer tracking - or not, so don't get your hopes up. They also told me that the redness of the skin around the portacath was an aversion to the adhesive during surgery - that wasn't normal! I thought it was just a damn big bruise! It's gotten so much better, but it was also nice to hear that this wasn't normal :) So I need the super sensitive adhesives. They inserted a needle into the port in my chest, applied adhesive around it to secure it, and the taped the short tube up until I needed it for dispersion of the chemo via IV.
Then we headed up to the GI Cancer Clinic to met with Dr Zafar. After another 30 minutes or so, I was paged and we all headed back. Fortunately the rooms are big enough to have 4 people, plus the resident and doc in the room :) The resident came in first and explained what was going to happen today. About 10 mins later, she came back with Dr Zafar. He explained the possible side effects of treatment and what to do (page him, leave a message, vs send an email). He explained how he did not want to get an email explaining how I just woke up off of the bathroom flooring having passed out. That would make him pass out and then where would we be?
We were instructed to check out of the clinic to schedule another appointment for chemo in 3 weeks, and then we could go up to the Chemo Lab and check in for treatment. I mentioned that our appointment wasn't until 12:45pm so we were thinking about going to lunch, which was fine too. We were also instructed to go downstairs to the pharmacy and pick up the nausea meds that I was getting along with the Xeloda, which is the oral chemo that I'll take for 14 days (with 7 days off). At the pharmacy, the guy taking my info told me that my prescription service, CVS CareMark, sometimes doesn't allow dispersion of Xeloda on site, only via mail order. He said he would call me if there were any issues with the prescription. More on this later...
We headed out to lunch at a French bistro, La Rue Cler, and had yummy, yummy, yummy french food. And we were almost 45 minutes late to the chemo appointment - oops! We sat around for 45 minutes or so, while they mixed my chemo treatment, and then i went back with my mom. They hooked me to the IV, and first dispensed 20 minutes of steroids, then 30 mins of calcium magnesium, then 2 hours of Oxaliplatin (the chemo), then 30 minutes of calcium magnesium, and then the flush my port with saline and heparin to prevent blood clots.
During this three and a half hours, I was in a nice little infusion room against the window, with a comfy recliner, and warm blanket, and a TV (cuz daytime television rocks!) My mom had a smaller recliner and a warm blanket as well. We took some short naps, but kept being interrupted by the beeping of the IV whenever the drip ran out at 20 mins, then 30 mins, then the pharmacist came back to discuss the side effects in great detail with us.
My mom switched out with my dad for a bit while my stepmom ran downstairs to the pharmacy to get my meds. She came rushing back through on the phone telling us each to perform some task because of the prescription problems. The pharmacy guy early decided NOT to call me and inform me of the pending issue with getting the Xeloda. So I talked to CVS CareMark and got instructions to get a prescription to them from my doc, which my dad pager Dr Zafar to ask about starting the Xeloda later than anticipated. I was totally annoyed with all of that, and my health insurance support contact from Aetna that calls to check on my progress through this journey was very apologetic today when I told her about this debacle because that was something she was supposed to assist with, but didn't realize that I was to take Xeloda. She made up for it by calling CVS to check on the status of the prescription.
Side note on this "health insurance support contact" from Aetna. Is it weird that I'm getting phone calls from my health insurance company to "talk" about all of this? It's all confidential, but it's Aetna, so it's not confidential to them. It just feels a little too "in my business", but I feel like I have to talk to them to "play the game" with the insurance company. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely grateful to have excellent health insurance to cover all of this, but this just seems a little too big brother-ish. Maybe it's just me.
Then it was all over and we headed home. I immediately felt a little tingling in my hands - that's the aversion to cold. And on the way home, the indian food leftovers tasted a little less spicy. I drank some room temp water and it was tingly in my mouth. I was hungry and munched on my snacks during the car ride home but also felt this new sense of fatigue. I wasn't tired enough to sleep - just tired.
I also had a light dinner of soup and hot tea, and then headed to bed. I slept a bit poorly. I was cold when I got home, but hot in bed. I tossed around every once in a while instead of sleeping the whole night through. I awoke about 9 hours later and was awake, but not as refreshed as I have been lately.
The day started out well, with the exception of the result when I forget not to touch cold, or even cool, items. Even the glass of water that was sitting out all night was cool to the touch, and therefore a bit tingly on the fingers. Such a weird feeling. I wanted to wash my hands and I usually just turn on the cold water, because it's never really cold water in the summer/fall, and then stick my hands under to get them a little wet. Boy that is a shock of pins and needles to the hands - OUCH! I can't go in the refrigerator nor the freezer. I've got to buy some gloves to get around in the kitchen. This is gonna get old real fast. These are even more barriers to me actually doing things in the kitchen. It's like I'm just not destined to cook. Where is my cooking house boy???
I felt like being productive, so I started the day by downloading some of the pics off of my phone into iPhotos, since I'll be getting an new iPhone 5 soon. Then I started working a bit, and ended up going all day. I've got so much work to catch up on, and I felt like working. After lunch the nausea started. I thought it went away for a little bit, but then it came back. I took a nausea pill around 3pm and there really hasn't been much change. It just feels crappy, but not debilitating. I could still work, although I bitched to colleagues about my nausea (just I like to bitch about my uncomfortable state). I felt hungry every once in a while, and that seemed to help. And then I had a bite of sugar and that really seemed to liven me up. So I think sweets will bring on appetite. Note to self, do not eat sugar until food is ready.
I also had a mild, dull headache for most of the day. So the side effects are mild, nothing I can't deal with, but it will take some getting used to. This is a new normal, and hopefully I will only have to deal with all of this for less than a year. Oh, and I think i'm losing my taste buds - damn it!
Tomorrow I need to get move around more. I need to exercise, although I was informed that I can't lift weights heavier than 5lbs with this portacath. So that limits my personal training sessions. I'll have to see if PT will even be worth it if I so limited with weights. But I can still walk/run on the treadmill, and use the sauna and steam room at the club. I NEED to get back to the club and into a routine again.
And I need to figure out my food situation. I have this awesome meal from Nourish tonight. Nourish is this healthy food service that delivers one a week. You choose from a menu that is posted Monday afternoon, and this place is so popular the menu is sold out in less than 5 hours every week! Tonights meal was Falafel with grains and excellent raw vegetables. And it tasted like cardboard to me :( I was so disappointed. I know I still have my salty and sweet tastebuds, but I wonder if that's it. I get this pang in my jaw during the first bit of food - kind of like the sour feeling when eating a watermelon jolly rancher. It's very weird.
Wow, so that was one help of a post. A lot has happened over the last 48 hours. And so much more to come. I'm still in good spirits but just a little shocked by the side effects. And I'm a little more nervous about the side effects of the Xeloda that I will start tomorrow night. Hand/Foot Syndrome, which is basically like getting a sunburn on your hands and feet. yay!
So one chemo treatment down, only 4 to go before we re-evaluate the situation. I can do this :)
much love,
Sarah xoxo
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Next Phase
Tomorrow I will go up to the Raleigh-Durham area for my first chemo treatment. I met with the homeopathic oncologist today, and I'll write more about that in another post, but it was a good meeting. My mom flies in from Chicago, and my Dad and stepmom will all join me. We'll drive down to Cary, NC tomorrow afternoon to stay with my Dad's cousin and wife. We'll all go out to dinner with my Dad's brother and wife, and another cousin in the area. It'll be really nice to see everyone, and I'm so thankful to have family in the area during this.
Our appointment on Thursday is at 8:50am. 1st appt - Labwork - get my blood drawn out of my fancy new portacath - yay! 9:20am - 2nd appt - Doctor's visit - I have no idea if this will be a long appointment or not. Will we get the results from my bloodwork that quickly? What else is there to discuss for the 1st appt? Who knows. 12:45pm - 3rd appt - chemo clinic. Hook me up to the chemo IV and let it go. I hear that this should take an hour, but they could administer it slowly, so again, who knows how long this will take. I'll have pills to also take for two weeks, and then I'll have one week off. Rinse, repeat.
We're supposed to do this for 3 months, so I think that's about 5 sessions. Since the IV treatment is usually every two weeks, there's a possibility that the side effects of it will be less intense, since I'll have more recovery time in between. The IV treatment is the one that will cause me to lose feeling in my hands and feet, and be extremely sensitive to cold temperatures. And BTW, I'm already quite cold. I've noticed how much the weight that I lost kept me warm. I lost 30 lbs in a year (20 of which we because of my effort in exercise and better diet). Why is there a downside of losing weight? Not cool.
I will get better at blogging because I think it's the best bet for me to chronicle my symptoms and side effects. Hopefully I can follow through on this, so feel free to nudge me for some motivation :) Because my whole body is going to change, nothing will be normal anymore, so I won't know if a side effect is normal. And apparently I need to note these changes. So, I will try.
More soon,
Sarah xoxo
PS - I have a binder full of women.
Our appointment on Thursday is at 8:50am. 1st appt - Labwork - get my blood drawn out of my fancy new portacath - yay! 9:20am - 2nd appt - Doctor's visit - I have no idea if this will be a long appointment or not. Will we get the results from my bloodwork that quickly? What else is there to discuss for the 1st appt? Who knows. 12:45pm - 3rd appt - chemo clinic. Hook me up to the chemo IV and let it go. I hear that this should take an hour, but they could administer it slowly, so again, who knows how long this will take. I'll have pills to also take for two weeks, and then I'll have one week off. Rinse, repeat.
We're supposed to do this for 3 months, so I think that's about 5 sessions. Since the IV treatment is usually every two weeks, there's a possibility that the side effects of it will be less intense, since I'll have more recovery time in between. The IV treatment is the one that will cause me to lose feeling in my hands and feet, and be extremely sensitive to cold temperatures. And BTW, I'm already quite cold. I've noticed how much the weight that I lost kept me warm. I lost 30 lbs in a year (20 of which we because of my effort in exercise and better diet). Why is there a downside of losing weight? Not cool.
I will get better at blogging because I think it's the best bet for me to chronicle my symptoms and side effects. Hopefully I can follow through on this, so feel free to nudge me for some motivation :) Because my whole body is going to change, nothing will be normal anymore, so I won't know if a side effect is normal. And apparently I need to note these changes. So, I will try.
More soon,
Sarah xoxo
PS - I have a binder full of women.
First Annual Pumpkin Carving Champagne Brunch
Years ago I went to this awesome pumpkin carving brunch and I've always wanted to through one myself. My cleaning ladies were were coming on Wednesday, which means that'd the perfect time to have people over. And I've decided that Fall is my FAVORITE season. Oh Target, why do you make it so easy to buy holiday crap?
I've got window sticky decals, table toppers, pumpkins and pumpkin carving kits, and planned the menu. I also coordinated the distribution of cooking to my dear friends, saving the French Toast for me to make. I know better - I really do! I should have asked for help with the French Toast, or not even made it.
So when a friend came over and offered to help, I totally accepted. Poor thing had to use my weird electric burners (she's got gas burners - jealous), my new steel pans, and coconut oil. FYI coconut oil apparently has a very low burning point, so we kind of smoked the party out. Scary thing was that the smoke detector never went off, and the place was more smoky than when my cats tried to kill me (seriously!). That was the balcony portion of the party filled with ceiling fans and standing fans. It was a beautiful Sunday morning.
Brunch was awesome. The mimosas were awesome. And the pumpkin carving was awesome. Check out the photos:
I've got window sticky decals, table toppers, pumpkins and pumpkin carving kits, and planned the menu. I also coordinated the distribution of cooking to my dear friends, saving the French Toast for me to make. I know better - I really do! I should have asked for help with the French Toast, or not even made it.
So when a friend came over and offered to help, I totally accepted. Poor thing had to use my weird electric burners (she's got gas burners - jealous), my new steel pans, and coconut oil. FYI coconut oil apparently has a very low burning point, so we kind of smoked the party out. Scary thing was that the smoke detector never went off, and the place was more smoky than when my cats tried to kill me (seriously!). That was the balcony portion of the party filled with ceiling fans and standing fans. It was a beautiful Sunday morning.
Brunch was awesome. The mimosas were awesome. And the pumpkin carving was awesome. Check out the photos:
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
The Mad Hatter
A colleague that I worked pretty closely with died of cancer on Thursday evening. He was diagnosed 6 months ago. He leaves a wife and 2 small boys. He liked hats, and used to call me funny names based on my last night (too easy, but I couldn't help laughing!). This hit a little too close to home for me and Friday morning when I read it on his CaringBridge site, I kinda lost it. I was a hot mess and couldn't stop crying. I showered, moisturized, and might have even made my breakfast smoothie before realizing that I needed a personal day. I thought I might get on a conference call and break out into tears - and that just wouldn't be professional, now would it? Could you imagine being on the call where the someone just lost it? That'd be a great story to tell.
My stepmom came over so I wouldn't be alone, which was so incredibly sweet and thoughtful. I've noticed that I like having people around me during all of this. I took a nice, long nap, woke up when the fire alarm inexplicably went off in the building (yay!), made lunch, then planned my dad's birthday celebration for the evening. It ended up being a really nice evening :)
Looking back, I think this was the first time that I felt vulnerable to cancer. I've gotten over that hump and am back to my optimistic self, but ugh, I don't wanna feel like that again. So I don't wanna hear cancer stories that end badly, k?
Cancer sucks
But I'll still win
Suck it
Is that a haiku?
RIP Phil - you'll be dearly missed.
My stepmom came over so I wouldn't be alone, which was so incredibly sweet and thoughtful. I've noticed that I like having people around me during all of this. I took a nice, long nap, woke up when the fire alarm inexplicably went off in the building (yay!), made lunch, then planned my dad's birthday celebration for the evening. It ended up being a really nice evening :)
Looking back, I think this was the first time that I felt vulnerable to cancer. I've gotten over that hump and am back to my optimistic self, but ugh, I don't wanna feel like that again. So I don't wanna hear cancer stories that end badly, k?
Cancer sucks
But I'll still win
Suck it
Is that a haiku?
RIP Phil - you'll be dearly missed.
My Portacath
Last Wednesday (when I actually started this blog post) I went back to CMC Pineville for outpatient surgery to get my port-a-cath installed. "Installed" sounds so weird, like i'm getting a new car stereo installed. Does this thing come with bluetooth? I'm once again impressed with the staff at CMC-Pineville. Seriously folks, if you need surgery, go here. They rock! My doctor is a rockstar too - Dr. Thies. The staff spoke very highly of him, and I think my dad has a little man-crush on him.
So I've got this thing in my chest now. It's a catheter to my heart. It's beneath my left collar bone, right at the place where my bra strap hits. Check out the pic below of what it'll look like when the insertion scar heals. It's this round plastic thingy that they will insert a IV into and it's supposed to be a ton more comfortable than getting pricked in the arm. Plus, it's easier on the veins.
Well, it's a bit uncomfortable right now. I really hope that the soreness goes away soon. This will help significantly in the distribution of the chemo, since it goes to the best distribution method of my body, the heart. Weird, huh? Over the last couple of days, my body has made it very clear that it knows there is a foreign "something" in it. It's healing slowly, but the bruise is crazy.
I've been applying this awesome salve that my brother and sister-in-law made a few years ago for Christmas. It's with Arnica and Calendula and other awesome herbs. And then my friend gave me some Lanacane cream that's super powerful. Both have been really helpful. But man, they placed it in the most inconvenient place - right where my bra strap falls, like 2 inches from my armpit. Being a chic sucks sometimes - pfft :)
So I've got this thing in my chest now. It's a catheter to my heart. It's beneath my left collar bone, right at the place where my bra strap hits. Check out the pic below of what it'll look like when the insertion scar heals. It's this round plastic thingy that they will insert a IV into and it's supposed to be a ton more comfortable than getting pricked in the arm. Plus, it's easier on the veins.
Well, it's a bit uncomfortable right now. I really hope that the soreness goes away soon. This will help significantly in the distribution of the chemo, since it goes to the best distribution method of my body, the heart. Weird, huh? Over the last couple of days, my body has made it very clear that it knows there is a foreign "something" in it. It's healing slowly, but the bruise is crazy.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Juicing
In my last post about my dear mom, you learned the complexity of juicing. Some of you might not know that I HATE mornings. Ok, I HATE waking up. So the idea of adding one hour of juicing to my morning routine did not go over well with my inner scheduling diva. We're currently looking for alternatives, so I asked my brother which option would be better - use the Breville or juice at night and store the juice for a longer period of time. The thing that I'm trying to figure out is which method will allow me to intake the nutrients that my body needs to stay strong while also retaining my sanity. The centrifugal style of the Breville kills a lot of nutrients in the spinning, which heats up the juice. Storing juice for an extended period of time also kills nutrients. So which is better?
My younger brother, whom I lovingly call Joshie at times (because I love him sooooo much!), had some very good advice. Try both options and let your taste buds tell you. So I tried the Breville the other morning, and I noticed all the kale, and romaine, and ginger didn't even get much of any liquid our of the juicer. It's all stuck in the pulp! So I took the pulp out and put it in the press and got almost 2 cups of juice out of it! And after all that work, it tasted like crap. It was missing soooooo much of the flavor that the Champion gives me.
So I guess the decision is made, right? I should juice in the evenings, right? Wrong! I'm tired in the evenings. I don't want to spend an hour and a half juicing and cleaning at night. So I used the Breville again, and just couldn't help but press the pulp, and I think it's probably taking the same time as it would to just use the damn Champion. I need to prep the night before better and get all stuff ready - maybe that will get me to do it. I'll try that tonight. Wish me luck!
One more thing - you might wonder what I juice. Well, it's cucumbers, kale, romaine, ginger, carrots, pears, broccoli stalks, and spinach. Someone called it salad in a jar, and it totally is. And it's also amazingly tasty - who knew!!!
One more thing - you might wonder what I juice. Well, it's cucumbers, kale, romaine, ginger, carrots, pears, broccoli stalks, and spinach. Someone called it salad in a jar, and it totally is. And it's also amazingly tasty - who knew!!!
Sarah
xoxo
My MoMMa
My mom went home to Chicago on Sunday after being with me for three weeks. Some of you might be saying to yourself "OMG three weeks with my mother, I could never do that!" - but not me! I'd have my mom stay longer if I could. My mom took such good care of me over these last three weeks, I have no idea how I've lasted this long without her!
My mom cooked all my meals, packaged lunches and snacks for me to bring to work, and juiced for me. The juicing is probably the biggest deal in my mind. My mother and brother researched juicing and decided that my nice, new Breville juicer wasn't good enough for me. So Josh (my bro) sent me his Champion juicer, and my mom bought me a juice press. So let me explain the process of juicing to you now.
The Breville is a centrifuge juicer - you put something in, the blades shred it to a pulp, and the centrifugal spinning pulls the juice out and keeps the dry pulp in to dispose of later. Now the Champion has a single spinning blade where the veggie gets pulverized and then pushed out, pulp and all. You collect this pulp in a container (any container will do) with a cloth over it. Once the cloth fills up, you stop juicing and wrap up the cloth and squeeze out as much juice as possible before putting it into the juice press. The juice press is manual hand crank press that literally presses the juice out of the cloth (so the cloth is the strainer). The press has over 2 tons of pressure. And then start over again.
My mom was making 5-6 8oz servings of juice a day for me, all at once, and then packaging them up in these cute, little 8.75oz glass jars. Sidebar - did you know it's better to store food in glass than plastic tupperware? Anyone want my old tupperware? It takes approximately one hour every day to do this juicing, and then the clean up is a prolly another 30 minutes.
So my mom would do all this juicing every morning for me to be able to have fresh squeezed juice in the morning and a few glasses to take with me to work. And then she'd make me a fruit smoothie for breakfast and send me on my way to work with my lunchbox (actually it was usually two lunchbags filled with juice, alkaline water, snacks, and my lunch). Isn't she amazing???
My mom fell right back into the caregiver role and I fell right back into being the sick teenager laying on the couch asking her to bring me a spoon because I didn't want to get up. Boy, did I love it. And now she's gone and I have to do all this stuff for myself now. Pffft, growing up sucks.
I love you MoMMa!!!!!
My mom cooked all my meals, packaged lunches and snacks for me to bring to work, and juiced for me. The juicing is probably the biggest deal in my mind. My mother and brother researched juicing and decided that my nice, new Breville juicer wasn't good enough for me. So Josh (my bro) sent me his Champion juicer, and my mom bought me a juice press. So let me explain the process of juicing to you now.
The Breville is a centrifuge juicer - you put something in, the blades shred it to a pulp, and the centrifugal spinning pulls the juice out and keeps the dry pulp in to dispose of later. Now the Champion has a single spinning blade where the veggie gets pulverized and then pushed out, pulp and all. You collect this pulp in a container (any container will do) with a cloth over it. Once the cloth fills up, you stop juicing and wrap up the cloth and squeeze out as much juice as possible before putting it into the juice press. The juice press is manual hand crank press that literally presses the juice out of the cloth (so the cloth is the strainer). The press has over 2 tons of pressure. And then start over again.
My mom was making 5-6 8oz servings of juice a day for me, all at once, and then packaging them up in these cute, little 8.75oz glass jars. Sidebar - did you know it's better to store food in glass than plastic tupperware? Anyone want my old tupperware? It takes approximately one hour every day to do this juicing, and then the clean up is a prolly another 30 minutes.
So my mom would do all this juicing every morning for me to be able to have fresh squeezed juice in the morning and a few glasses to take with me to work. And then she'd make me a fruit smoothie for breakfast and send me on my way to work with my lunchbox (actually it was usually two lunchbags filled with juice, alkaline water, snacks, and my lunch). Isn't she amazing???
My mom fell right back into the caregiver role and I fell right back into being the sick teenager laying on the couch asking her to bring me a spoon because I didn't want to get up. Boy, did I love it. And now she's gone and I have to do all this stuff for myself now. Pffft, growing up sucks.
I love you MoMMa!!!!!
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