A colleague that I worked pretty closely with died of cancer on Thursday evening. He was diagnosed 6 months ago. He leaves a wife and 2 small boys. He liked hats, and used to call me funny names based on my last night (too easy, but I couldn't help laughing!). This hit a little too close to home for me and Friday morning when I read it on his CaringBridge site, I kinda lost it. I was a hot mess and couldn't stop crying. I showered, moisturized, and might have even made my breakfast smoothie before realizing that I needed a personal day. I thought I might get on a conference call and break out into tears - and that just wouldn't be professional, now would it? Could you imagine being on the call where the someone just lost it? That'd be a great story to tell.
My stepmom came over so I wouldn't be alone, which was so incredibly sweet and thoughtful. I've noticed that I like having people around me during all of this. I took a nice, long nap, woke up when the fire alarm inexplicably went off in the building (yay!), made lunch, then planned my dad's birthday celebration for the evening. It ended up being a really nice evening :)
Looking back, I think this was the first time that I felt vulnerable to cancer. I've gotten over that hump and am back to my optimistic self, but ugh, I don't wanna feel like that again. So I don't wanna hear cancer stories that end badly, k?
Cancer sucks
But I'll still win
Suck it
Is that a haiku?
RIP Phil - you'll be dearly missed.
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